Someone sent me this
In 1987 my best friend died in my arms while i was trying to revive him- I was 15 years old at the time. It was on a sunday (Dec. 20th 1987) and we were in his car driving down the street when he suddenly stopped (ironically in front of a church that was letting out). He stopped and just said “Oh shit” then his eyes rolled back into his head. This is a long story- and still I cant find the strength to tell all the details. His foot let off the brake and we started to roll down the street. I quickly responded by putting the car in park. I shouted at him to wake up but with no response. Pulled him out of the car and attempted mouth to mouth resesitation. Shouting obscenities after each breath i took into his mouth the mass of church goers kept telling me to stop taking the lords name in vain while trying to revive my friend. I didnt listen and or care who heard me- my friend was dieing and emotions were high. Paramedics came (what seemed like an eternity later) and took over. They rushed him to the hospital and was pronounced dead. The doctors tell me that he died from a blood clot to the brain and there was nothing that could have been done unless he was taken into the hospital moments before the clot occured. Even if he survived most likely he would have suffered massive lack of oxygen to the brain and would have been mentally disabled the rest of his life. But……….
Thats just what they tell me. What if i had done something wrong? Did I know how to give mouth to mouth at 15 — no. I’ve seen it on TV and figured id pinch his nose and breath into his mouth and he’d jump up and say ‘Holy crap, thanks dude!’ Did I do something wrong? Was he just choking on something and I made it worse and ended up killing him. Or…..well I could go on. To this day - no one will tell me the whole truth of what happened to my friend. Which leads me to believe that I must have done something wrong. Ill probably never know. Ultimately and sadly I have beaten myself up emotionally (and physically) about this.
Then 10 years later in 1997 - my father and all 4 of my grandparents past away. All within 4 months of each other.
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Jesus fucking Christ.
